‘Sorry, while we’re here, can you have a look at my neck? I’m sure there’s something in there…’ Sims grits his teeth. I catch the eye of her husband, whose raised eyebrow I mistake for scepticism. ‘Well, that’s good to know,’ the woman says, flexing her wrist. ‘I hate to admit it, but you’re fine,’ he says. Her hand has occasionally ached ever since. The incident in 2007 is less clear-cut and involves being tied to a radiator, or something. She tells a story about a family holiday to North Wales in 1997 when she was taken, then had her memory wiped and woke up in a muddy field in the dark a couple of hours later. ‘Oh yeah, quite a few times,’ the woman replies, in a broad Yorkshire accent. So you’ve been abducted by aliens before, have you? I ask, while we wait. ![]() Then a magnet detector, which I suppose is just a magnet. Then a Geiger counter, which checks for radiation. First the infrared camera is held up to it, to see if there’s a strange heat source. She stands stock still, offering her wrist. A small crowd around us looks on expectantly. The possible implant is in the woman’s hand, so Sims asks her to remove her jewellery in order to run a few tests. (‘Need Someone to Handle a Tough Situation?’ his business card reads, over a decades-old photograph of him pinning a tiger to a lawn.) He is a professional alien hunter, as well as a hypnotist, private detective, karate black-belt, handwriting analyst, former CIA agent, and – something has to pay the bills – occasional estate agent. ![]() Sims, who is 75, has an outfit, moustache, and general bearing that collectively mean he’s identifiable as Texan from several furlongs away. ‘Well, ma’am, I guess we’d better find out.’ And as I will be told more than once during my weekend at Awakening UFO & Conscious Life Expo: to outmanoeuvre the aliens, we need to think like the aliens.ĭerrell W Sims understands this well, so he responds to the woman’s claim by simply flicking the rim of his cowboy hat, fixing her with a cold, hard stare – the kind of cold, hard stare he fixed an alien with when he was first abducted by one in Texas, aged four – and unholstering his handheld infrared camera. ![]() It's our understanding that Canadians are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.The woman with the cornflower-blue highlights and crocheted shawl didn’t look as if she might have had an alien implant stuck inside her since 2007.īut then, I suppose that’s exactly what the aliens would want us to believe. This hat gives off an aura of professionalism while blocking the harsh Canadian elements at the same time, a task that is not easy to accomplish! The Mountie Family is WaitingĪre you worried that you might not fit in with the other mountie's? Don't worry, we have a tip that might help. You will also be wearing the shoulder strap, a small detail on this impressive costume, but details are important! Our favorite piece of this costume is the hat. This officially licensed costume comes with everything you will need to look like the classic Canadian deal! Your red jacket will have you instantly pinned as a person of importance, and your pants bring together the ensemble nicely. Just make sure you're looking the part before you leap into action. ![]() Alright, maybe these aren't really crimes that you're likely to find in the real world, but they are sure fun to imagine. When you become a Canadian Mountie, you will be battling both Canadian bad guys and the Canadian wilderness, simultaneously.Ī bank robber is escaping on a moose? That's your man, don't let him get away! 7 feet of snow fell last night? It's just a dusting, brush off your snowmobile and get to the station! Someone has been selling some weirdo sugary syrup and telling people that it's real maple syrup? They have gone too far. So, you think you have what it takes to be a Canadian Mountie? Have you really thought about all the challenges you will face? Being a Mountie opens up a whole new realm of challenges to face, different than you would see anywhere else in the world.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |